From The Outside Looking In: Finding Freedom in Never Fitting In 💐

Growing up, I was never part of the “cool crowd.” I knew who they were, though. I knew who had the higher social status, who wore the brand-name clothes, who made straight A’s, and who seemed to have a permanent seat at the popular table. For the longest time, I wondered why I wasn’t good enough to sit there, too. Why didn’t they want to be my friend? Why wasn’t I included? What was it about me that didn’t quite fit their expectations? So I made my own crowd. I found my own people and learned to exist outside the circles that never made room for me. But I’d be lying if I said that little girl inside me didn’t spend years wondering what was wrong with her.

Now, as an adult, I see things differently. Sometimes exclusion has absolutely nothing to do with the person being excluded and everything to do with the unhealed wounds carried by those doing the excluding. And that brings me to something I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on lately. The ego. We hear that word and immediately think of someone who is conceited, arrogant, or thinks they’re better than everyone else. But ego isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quietly woven into our everyday actions, our relationships, our assumptions, and the way we perceive other people.

Ego can make us believe we’re superior because of our accomplishments, our appearance, our social circles, or even the people who associate with us. But it can also make us believe we’re inferior. It can convince us that we’re not worthy, that everyone is judging us, that someone else’s success threatens our own, or that we constantly have something to prove. The thing about ego is that it doesn’t particularly enjoy self-reflection. Because looking inward means acknowledging the things within ourselves that need healing. It means taking accountability and recognizing that maybe the stories we’ve told ourselves about other people aren’t entirely true.

You may think you know something about me. You may have heard something, assumed something, or formed an opinion based on a version of me you never actually took the time to understand. But if you’ve never come directly to me and asked, what exactly are you laying claim to? A rumor? An assumption? Someone else’s perception? We live in a world where people are so quick to categorize others. We decide who’s worthy of our friendship, our support, our encouragement, and our kindness based on things that shouldn’t matter nearly as much as they do.

I know what it feels like to be the girl standing outside the circle. I know what it feels like to wonder why you’re not enough. And I know what it feels like to spend years trying to convince people of your worthiness. But I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m free. Free from needing a seat at someone else’s table. Free from begging for friendships that don’t come naturally. Free from explaining myself to people committed to misunderstanding me. And most importantly, free from believing that someone else’s opinion determines my value.

My faith has played an enormous role in that freedom. I know who I am in God’s eyes, and I’m learning every day to stop looking for validation in places where I was never meant to find it. I’m building businesses, chasing dreams, and creating opportunities that once seemed impossible. I believe that with faith, hard work, consistency, and a whole lot of determination, I can grow something beautiful. Not because I need to prove anyone wrong. Not because I need to be better than the next woman. Not because I’m competing for some imaginary title of who’s doing life better.

I’m doing this for ME. For the woman I’ve fought so hard to become. For the little girl who never felt included. For the dreams I tucked away while trying to survive different seasons of my life. And if someone sees my growth as competition, they can kindly kick rocksss 🌸

There’s room for all of us. Room for the photographer just starting out and the photographer who’s been doing it for twenty years. Room for the woman building a business from her kitchen table and the woman running a successful storefront. Room for the quiet ones, the outspoken ones, the ones who have it all together, and the ones still figuring it out. Someone else’s success does not diminish your own potential.

That’s what inclusion means to me. It’s not about being invited into the popular circle anymore. It’s about creating spaces where nobody has to question whether they belong. It’s about recognizing the humanity in people before judging their status, their accomplishments, their appearance, or their past.

And maybe that’s why Wildflower means so much to me. Because I don’t want to build something that only welcomes a select few. I want to build something that makes people feel seen, valued, and worthy of being exactly who they are. I spent too much of my life trying to fit into spaces that weren’t made for me. Now I’m creating my own. And this time, everyone has a place to bloom 🌸

Wildflower Expressions by Kels — Where wild meets grace.